i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
