Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
that is very illegal...i love you.
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