Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize