i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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