hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
