so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
