Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
