I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
