um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
