the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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