You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
