sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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