Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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