Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
