Your mouth is God's brothel.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
