some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
