i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
