So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
