So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
