One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
