took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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