yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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