this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
