What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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