I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
