You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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