Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
