hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize