I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
