found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
