I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
