k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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