Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
