someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
