physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
