I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
