I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
