A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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