Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
