I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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