I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
