i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just high enough for therapy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
