I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
