It's just like the Real World with babies
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
