He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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