Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
