4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Found the puke drawer
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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