For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
