Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
