The maid of honor just puked.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize