it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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