well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
