What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
