At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
