How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
