cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
