she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
