David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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